Skip to main content

What To Look For In A Wife

I've been compiling a list of desirable traits to look for in a wife. Hopefully, I won't use this list as a cut-and-dried litmus test (e.g. "Well, you met criteria #1-32 and #34-49, but you didn't quite cut #33... sorry."). Rather, my goal is to get into the habit of thinking seriously about girls' character traits and personality. I think too often guys are too shallow in deciding whether or not a girl would make a decent wife. For example, I think many guys have these criteria:

1) The girl is cute
2) The girl gives me attention
3) The girl can make me laugh

If these three are met, the girl is determined by the guy to be a "nice girl" and a "good person" and he gives himself permission to pursue her affection. Don't get me wrong - these three things aren't bad things to look for, but if left by themselves they leave too much room for disaster.

So, I went outside the other night and though long and hard about what virtues to look for in girls. I dare say I think I have nearly a complete list - about 4 pages in my flip notebook. But I, like anyone, am susceptible to shortsightedness. Therefore, I am asking for your contributions (particularly from happily married men). What are the 3 most charming, captivating, valuable traits in your spouse? Of course, if you would like to list more, feel free!

I suppose you could also list things that you wished you had looked for in your spouse but didn't. If you want to mention those ones, you can email them to me, rather than posting them for all the public (and your wife) to see :)

In related news, I just finished Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. It was brilliant, and by thinking about Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth, as well as Jane and Mr. Bingley, I've been able to think much about my own traits - how to be more amiable like Bingley and also how to be more noble like Darcy (and how to avoid pride and prejudice). Anyway, I keep thinking about what Charlotte says at the very beginning of the book: "Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance." I won't lie - there have been times in my life when I look around me and think that to be a justifiable sentiment, but most times I believe happiness is to be found when it is sought after.

Pride and Prejudice: A
1 comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Clink (New Friends)

Each other is all we have. It's no surprise, then, that when we think about the chapters of our lives, those chapters usually begin and end with the beginning and ending of relationships. My current chapter began in July 2016, when I made the move from Philadelphia to Denver. In many ways, it was the fulfillment of a promise made between Peace Corps friends; Carly, Evan, and I spoke often of our desire to live in the same place some day, and after two wonderful years spent with Kyla, it was time for me to join them.

The great advantage to this arrangement is that Evan and Carly had been cultivating friends in my absence, so upon my arrival last summer, I was met with a wonderful group of people who had been carefully conditioned by Evan and Carly to like me.

Readers of this blog will remember Evan and Carly from my Peace Corps days. They were the closest I had to family for two years, and by the end of our service, we were inseparable.


Pappy. Pop-pop. Dilly-dally. Evan is know…

Reaction to Dante's Hell as Portrayed in Dante's Inferno

Since its Patristic roots, the Church has struggled with two seemingly contradictory aspects of God's nature. One one hand, God is said to be loving and caring towards his creation. At the same time, however, God is seen as a judge, dealing out justice to all according to their actions. Some Christians have argued that God, due to his overabundance of love, can never punish or cause harm. Other Christians have no qualms in maintaining that a loving God sends people to Hell, even against their own will. Most fall in between these two extremes. I would maintain that Dante's view of punishment in Hell errs on the side of the latter extreme, given the assumption of a loving God as described in Christian literature. The God portrayed in Dante's Inferno punishes based on gross oversimplifications. His God ignores the larger picture of human psychology and sociological influences in addition to the rehabilitative capacities of wrongdoers.

Good parents do not punish their children …

Morocco, Land of Ambiguity

The sun was pummeling me. On my shoulders and on the back of my skull. When Moroccans catch the sniffles, they say "The cold hit me." On this particular afternoon in Sidi Bennour, as I wandered from street to street, that bully Sol took no mercy, and as my fragile frame absorbed each blow, I could feel the scorn from the sun, the mocking and scorn, and not just from celestial bodies, but Arab bodies as well, from behind their piles of watermelon and cactus carts, straw hats and tooth-ish grins going "What is this white guy doing wandering around here in the middle of the afternoon?"

What I was doing was looking for a damned pair of socks. Eventually, I found a guy selling piles of used clothes. There appeared to be no order to the mess, so I just asked him if he sold any packages of socks. Hell, I didn't know. I've witnessed butchers selling toothbrushes on the side. Anyway, I might as well have asked the man if he had any poisonous snakes for sale. He could…