So today I was going through a bunch of old notebooks I had stashed away in one of my dresser drawers. I was curious what kinds of things I had written in these things, some of which date back to my first years of high school.
A few observations:
1) I had an awesome sense of humor. Where did that go?
2) My memories of the past often do not include my emotional state of the time. I read many entries about how miserable I was at certain points of my life, and I have a hard time remembering those feelings.
3) To build on #2, my past feelings aren't the only things that are unrecognizable. Some of those things were written by an entirely different person, somebody I would hardly recognize as myself were I to have coffee with him today.
4) My handwriting varies from wildly illegible to quite good. Why the hell didn't I just always write in the latter style?
5) Some of the events I wrote about are still too painful for me to re-read, even after years of distance.
6) Nevertheless, I found that going through these was a great way to take stock of where I have come so far.
7) I need to write more often.
I'll leave you with a few entries I found detailing my first Greyhound bus experience:
Arrived at Kansas City Greyhound station shortly before 7:00. Next bus leaves at 1:00am. Was accosted, shortly after arriving, by a man claiming to need gas money for an elderly handicapped relative, or something of the sort. Told him I've no money. Not looking forward to the 6 hour wait...
A large, unkempt man sat next to me - not much said, but seemed nice enough.
A girl sat beside me on the bench earlier. Perhaps my age, perhaps a little younger. She looked nervous. Her glances shot dramatically from her extreme left to her extreme right and back again. Wondered if this was her first time traveling. Or perhaps she was confused.
*Note to self: Falafel = gas*
Arrived at Sioux Falls about an hour late. Slept most of the way on last bus - almost didn't get a seat. This station is far smaller - no worries about getting a seat on the next bus. The farther north I travel the more normal people seem to be. That Falafel's still giving me problems.