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Disappearing Act

Often, as a child, I would
slip into silly daydreams -
not of being a pop star,
an astronaut,
or superhero -
I would dream of
fighting my father.
My father, whose
temper was as short
as his moral stature.

Few boys have the
chance to live out their
daydreams.
But I did.
From upstairs one night,
I heard my father
yelling,
angry as Hell.
This had been brewing
for some time, I thought.
I grabbed a knife from my bookshelf
and headed towards the commotion.
Thwack, "You whore!"
Thwack.
"Deric!"
"What is it, dad? Just calm
down."
"Call Pastor and Mickey"
And so I placed the call,
and placed my weapon on the pool table,
and tried to calm both of them,
hysterical
spouting nonsense
crying
frantic
"Calm. Both of you, easy now."

Randy arrives, wife trailing
behind.
Dad lunges, yells, knocks
Randy to the ground
straddles him, right next
to the pool table.

Here it is:
I love my mom
I love Pastor Randy
I loathe my father.
But when I grabbed my
knife, I didn't unsheathe it.
After all,
who wants to hurt a
man already in so much
pain?

So I hit him with
the harmless end.
I hit him
again
again
nothing
he's still beating the crap
out of my pastor.

So I run.
To the phone.
911.
And I run.
Outside.
To the car.
Drive away.

Whatever happened
to the hero?

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